Everyday Wrestler

I voice the Christian cliché as if I know it.
I express these truths because I heard them from
Abraham and Isaac, but I never
wrestled with Him myself.

And that’s why these things can come
from my mouth and I am still a deceiver, still
unorganized, still burning in my loins for
another man’s wife, still agitated to shouting
when all of life’s insecurities come my way.

It’s because I’ve never met Him for myself and
I don’t know His reality – His substance.
Or, maybe I have met Him and do know His reality,
but it’s just that I don’t meet Him for myself on
an everyday – every moment – basis.

They say that you can be a Christian and not need
to have some dramatic story of ashes to beauty.
And yeah, that’s true, but I can’t be a Christian without
a decisive encounter. And there’s no way I can
really meet Him and it not shake my soul.

There’s no way I can meet Him and not be different
in some way. They say you can be a Christian and
go back to the vomit you left behind.

But I say, no way. I will wrestle Him myself.

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