Living in My Head – Memoir – Chapter 1

Becky, with short, curly red hair, a smiling round face, and pink cheeks, reminisced with Joyce in front of us. “You remember when the gold dust showed up a few years ago? I remember when I opened my eyes during praise and worship, and there was gold dust on my hands. It was so wonderful!” her voice crescendoed in pitch. “Awwww…” she sighed, folded her hands together and held them next to her flushed cheek, “the Lord is so good.” Then she swooned a bit, and Joyce smiled knowingly and chuckled and… kind of made cooing sounds?

In my mind, I was rolling my eyes. These ladies were crazy. ..

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A Brave Story About Gender Identity

I laid there in the dark, on the top bunk, under my puffy comforter, cuddling with my stuffed toy dog. I whispered a prayer.

“God, change me into a boy. Please? I want to be a boy so much.”

In that moment, I felt I would wake up the next morning and see boy parts growing, replacing my God-given feminine future. Disappointment washed over me when I woke and was still a girl. But I held out hope that something was happening and it was just a slow process. Grabbing the edge of the top rung of the bunk ladder, I climbed down and continued on with life.

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